The leaders we all remember in our careers tend to have great people skills. The ability to connect and communicate with others with genuine curiosity, trust and presence. Not just with one or two individuals, but with a range of peers, teams and customers. Maybe you are that leader today.
During her recent visit to Australia, international expert Esther Perel stated that relational intelligence is the new competitive advantage for leaders and teams.
She argues it’s the ability to navigate relationships with awareness, flexibility, and skill. More than emotional intelligence, it’s the ability to connect, read context and respond across a network in a way that enables people and organisations to thrive. This is increasingly important as organisations are managing faster rates of change and working with hybrid, remote and cross cultural teams. It is also a time of increased levels of loneliness. The latest Gallup State of the Workplace 2026 research found 1 in 5 employees are experiencing loneliness at work, with higher rates for leaders than their teams.
Perel argues that relational intelligence is not about being “nice”. It’s about being intentional and effective in how you relate to others.
Most workplace challenges are not purely technical, but relational. Misalignment, mistrust, and poor communication drive dysfunction more than lack of skill.
Therefore, performance depends heavily on how people interact, not just what they do.
Leaders with high relational intelligence read people well, build trust quickly, handle difficult conversations confidently and inspire engagement. Teams with strong relational intelligence are more productive as they communicate more clearly, resolve issues faster and coordinate more effectively. Managing conflict is also an important part. If able to be handled well and understood, it becomes a healthy and necessary part of collaboration and innovation.
“The quality of our relationships at work determines the quality of our work – and our capacity to stay, to care, to thrive.” Esther Perel
So how can we improve these skills and what’s holding us back from making the shift? Time, lack of awareness and unsure how or reluctance to change behaviour are common barriers. It’s a challenge discussed with mentors and coaches and for those who invest in improving their relational intelligence there are many positive outcomes.
To reflect on the strength of your relational intelligence consider:
- I read the room, noticing tone, energy and what’s unsaid
- I actively invest in relationships across the business and act as a bridge between teams
- I navigate difficult conversations constructively
- People trust me, raising issues early and openly
- I understand and balance different perspectives, personalities and agendas
- I maintain meaningful connections even when busy
